The playlist in my head and getting rid of the Arctic Monkeys

I don’t listen to much music anymore (and Maher Zain is constantly on my car playlist, which is getting sort of tired) but I can’t get this Brian Adams song out of my head – everything I do, I do it for you….don’t teeelll me, it’s not worth fiiiightiiing foooor!

I’m still not 100% sure why music is forbidden but I’m trying harder to accept it.  And if all that is left in my head is the sound of Brian Adams, it might not be too hard!

Well, if I think about it harder, I can come up with a few issues with music, at least for me.  If I spend the afternoon listening to Linkin’ Park, the hard rock sounds start to make me feel a bit more edgy.  And listening to Imogen Heap or others with a sad bent, leaves me feeling melancholy and blue.  This means that these tunes are influencing my mood.

When my mind is racing, work is stressful, and I want to distract myself, I usually listen to Eminem, and soon enough, my mind goes blank (side note: did you ever hear that song “cleaning out my closet” where Eminem cusses out his mother and raps about how much he hates her?  Funny thing, I think he recently released a new song, apologizing to his mother for hating her and saying that he sort of understands her crazy past – and he can’t stand the lyrics to “cleaning out my closet” anymore. I’m not so sure if my story is accurate, this is me trying to piece together my memory of Eminem facts…but imagine having a famous song that you now hate, reminding you of how bad you were to your late mother…heavy!)

So, rap makes me blank out.  But this is exactly the thing I probably should not be trying to do – I shouldn’t want to lose myself in a tune.  I shouldn’t want to lose myself at all.  I am meant to feel what I am feeling, even if it is stressed, or rushed, or annoyed with traffic…deeply, and let it wash over me, and then let it go.  I am meant to think through the thoughts racing through my mind and not push them aside.  We are meant to be present.  Lives have become so busy and hectic that music is used as a calming relaxing distraction.  But music leads to other garbage, like seeing Miley Cyrus twerking, or Rihanna almost naked in a music video.  Blegh!  And what is a “real slim shady” anyways?

I do miss the sweet sounds of Vanilla Twilight and those other bubblegum light sounds (pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere).  I guess like smoking, it is a bad habit that needs to be quit.  So people who stop smoking sometimes take nicotine patches.  Maybe my nicotine patch is Maher Zain, and pod-casts, and Zikr.


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